Thursday, 14 May 2009

• Currently The Wheels on the Bus: Mango's Animal Adventure By Roger Daltrey, Janie Laurel Escalle see related

  Legend of the Nerdlove

  So Joel and I don't have TV. I mean, we do have a TV, just no cable or even an antenna, and we like it that way because, have you ever tried to watch TV with mildly autistic children? They already like to repeat themselves, a lot, and then on the kids' channels especially they have the SAME COMMERCIALS every stinking break and by the end of the hour even if the child has no particular desire for the Moon Sand or the little colored water pellets toy that will stick together to make a very fragile 2-D replica of a car or whatever, you will be hearing the exact dialogue and intonation of those things' commercials for the next six months and if it wasn't enough the first four times, it will definitely make you want to poke out your eardrums with a bendy straw by the thousandth and fourth time.
  
  So, yeah, no TV reception. Although if you come visit us, our DVD collection will make you weep with envy (or pity, because we are so pathetically addicted to entertainment, but if it's pity just let us assume it's envy and we'll invite you over a second time and  you'll get more of Joel's cooking, and if you've ever tasted his cooking you KNOW that this is important).
  
  And yeah, we're a little slow on the uptake and even though Mamapop posted about Hulu like six months ago (I just googled it and in fact Sweetney posted on Mamapop about Hulu in March of 2008 so I am even more BTT than I thought) (BTT=Behind The Times. See,  in the future all Americans will discourse completely in acronym form!) it took us till I think last month to finally get sucked in. And the main reason we got sucked in was because of... ahem... Legend of the Seeker.
  
  If you follow my Twitter (you don't follow my Twitter? you are so going to... to... MySpace!) you have seen burgeoning evidence of our mutual obsession and the fact that it has finally confirmed my suspicion that a girl like me cannot marry a cool guy without him eventually catching The Nerd. It's inevitable and now it has happened, that the woman who actually learned Klingon as an 11-year-old has dragged her life partner over to the dark side and now he, instead of quoting Billy Madison at appropriate moments, will engage in a long text message debate about whether or not Darken Rahl waxes his chest, and if he does, do the Mord'Sith perform the treatment, and if they do, does he or does he not like it (answers: yes, yes, and of course he does, he's evil and only evil people enjoy waxing, everyone who's had their upper lip done knows this).
  
  I think we might have taken it a bit too far though, because I actually looked at Kahlan's Confessor outfit and wished out loud that they made them in my size (read: with twice as much material, because a TV star I am not) and I'm pretty sure I caught Joel considering it before he asked me where I would wear it even if I did have it, and I'm afraid the conversation just went downhill from there (or uphill, if you were one of us, but really if you're not you don't want to know about what goes on behind closed doors in our house because you will never be able to look us in the eye again without bursting into mortified giggles, and then we'll know that you know and even though I will be smothering an inappropriate thrill that YOU READ WHAT I WRITE I will also be turning bright red because God forbid that people know that married people Do It).
  
  Also I would go into more details about the awesomeness that is this show but there's the latest episode in my queue so I can't wait to watch it any more. And if Joel gets mad at me for watching without him I will Confess him into docility.
  
  (Side note: when I tried to type in the title of that DVD at the top of this entry, I accidentally typed "Whells on the Bus," which sums up my sentiments on the film nicely.)
  

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